1. Introduction: Your “Hard Work” Might Be a Signal to Stop
“Tears won’t stop at work,” “Taking 3 hours to write a simple email,” “Unable to read a single page of your favorite book…”
If you are experiencing these things, it’s not because you lack willpower or ability. It is a critical “Emergency Stop Signal” from your brain.
In 2023, while working on a massive project for municipal benefit distributions in Japan, I developed Adjustment Disorder. What was supposed to be a short break turned into 7 months of medical leave. In this article, I will share my recovery process—including my mistakes—the background of why this condition is rising in Japan, and the differences in treatment between Japan and the U.S.
2. The Background: Overwhelming Workload and the “Trap” of Human Relations
For over three years, I worked on government benefit programs. In recent years, these tasks have become incredibly high-pressure, requiring extreme speed and 100% accuracy to support citizens’ livelihoods.
The tipping point was a new supervisor I was assigned to work under.
She was an older woman who could be described as “constantly turbulent.” The very air in the office vibrated with tension when she was there. We were always walking on eggshells.
- Unpredictable Mood Swings: One day she’d be fine; the next, she’d shout or ignore you for the exact same report.
- Restless Directions: Her instructions were frantic, constantly interrupting my flow of thought.
- Emotional Logic: She didn’t lead with professional logic but with her “emotions” of the moment. The more I tried to be rational and diligent, the more my mind was thrown into chaos.
“Why does she have to speak to me like that?”
Every time I dealt with her, alarms went off in my brain. All the energy I should have used for work was instead consumed by building a “shield” to protect myself from her hostility.
3. The Sensation of a “Frozen Brain”
As my condition worsened, the most painful symptom was “losing the ability to process text.”
No matter how hard I stared at emails or documents, the meaning would not enter my brain. It was as if I were trying to read a foreign language I didn’t know, or like my vision was sliding off a sheet of ice.
To me, reading was not just a hobby; it was my identity. When I suddenly couldn’t finish a single page, I felt as if half of my soul had died. I felt an abysmal sense of terror and loneliness.
Taking three hours to write one email isn’t laziness. It is a living hell where you desperately try to “reboot” a frozen brain, only to watch time slip away with nothing to show for it.
Eventually, I hit my limit. A doctor diagnosed me with Adjustment Disorder and ordered an initial two months of rest.
4. [My Biggest Mistake] The “To-Do List” You Must Avoid
This is the most important lesson I want to share.
Diligent people often think: “Now that I finally have time off, I should use it effectively to do all the things I couldn’t do before.”
I was one of them. In the first month, I made a massive “To-Do List”—cleaning the house, decluttering, mowing the lawn. I thought that by staying productive, I would find my old self again.
However, this was the absolute worst thing to do for recovering from Adjustment Disorder.
Why “Activity” Was the Wrong Choice
In the early stages of recovery, your brain is as exhausted as a marathon runner at the finish line. Forcing yourself to move is like trying to start physical therapy on a broken leg.
- The May Crash: Because I pushed myself in April, by May, I couldn’t even get out of bed.
- The Cycle of Failure: In June, I felt slightly better and—stubbornly—made another list. I crashed again in July.
By repeating this cycle of “doing too much and crashing,” my 2-month leave eventually stretched into 7 months.
5. The Right Way to Rest: Sleep Until You Are “Bored”
The “correct” way to rest that I discovered after 7 months is surprisingly simple:
“For the first month, do nothing. Just sleep like a log.”
Do not feel guilty for sleeping the day away. While you sleep, your brain is hard at work performing vital repairs.
The shortest route to recovery is to pamper yourself until you feel genuinely “bored” of sleeping—until an instinctive desire to see the sky or tidy up naturally bubbles up from within.
Only move when you truly want to move. This is the golden rule.
6. Why Adjustment Disorder is Rising in Japan vs. the U.S.
The number of people taking leave for mental health in Japan is skyrocketing. I believe this is due to several unique social factors:
- Relentless Diligence: Japanese culture prizes “sticking it out” and “never giving up.” We tend to push ourselves far beyond our limits.
- Complex Public Duties: Like the benefit programs I handled, jobs that are complex, zero-error, and high-volume put a constant, extreme strain on the mind.
- The Social Media Comparison: Seeing others’ “perfect lives” online makes us feel anxious about being “unproductive” while we rest.
Looking at the U.S., “Adjustment Disorder” is also widely recognized, but the approach is different:
- Japan’s “Static” Treatment: Focuses on “Environmental Adjustment” (taking leave) and rest. The priority is physically removing the person from the stressor.
- The U.S. “Active” Treatment: While rest is important, the focus is often on Psychotherapy (Talk Therapy). It’s a proactive approach where you work with a therapist to learn “coping skills” to handle the stressor.
Neither is necessarily better, but for “overly diligent” Japanese types, the Japanese system of “stopping everything” might be a necessary emergency brake for a runaway sense of responsibility.
7. Conclusion: To Those Anxious to Return
Until I finally returned to work in December, I blamed myself constantly. Looking back, those 7 months weren’t a “vacation”—they were a “hospitalization for my brain.”
[My Advice for Those Starting Leave]
- Throw away your “To-Do List” right now.
- Distance yourself from your phone and block out information.
- Make “sleeping” your only job for today.
There will come a day when you get bored of sleeping. There will come a day when you can read a book again. Until then, please do not blame yourself. Just close your eyes and let time pass.
This story is for anyone currently in the dark. I hope it helps lighten your heart, even just a little.
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